Residents of the Columbia Valley may have noticed a strange Persian man in and around Invermere recently, accompanied by a camel named Alice. It took a while to track this individual down, but once confronted, it was quickly discovered that there are strange things afoot in the area.
The man, who refers to himself as the Sultan of Haberdashery, has been in the area for approximately a month, assisting authorities with an intense international manhunt for the kingpin of the notorious Flying Carpet Cartel, an opium smuggling ring, which recently began operating in Canada.
“It may seem strange, but this camel is actually specially trained to sniff out smuggled opium, which we believe has entered the valley through a number of Persian rug shipments,” said the Sultan.
Opium Omar, the man who heads up the infamous smuggling ring, is believed to be seeking refuge in a secret hideaway somewhere in the Rocky Mountains, and is using Calgary as a major distribution hub after the opium laden rugs reach Canadian shores via Vancouver.
“We had a lead that Omar had some trouble in Calgary so he was planning to ship the majority of the rugs to Invermere for safe keeping. This is where Alice and I come in, and at the same time we will be attending the Midnight Genie Bottle showing at Pynelogs Cultural Centre,” the Sultan said.
The Midnight Genie Bottle is an ancient artifact that will be traveling beyond the borders of Iran for the first time ever. As a result of about a year’s worth of negotiations, the National Persian Art Gallery has agreed to allow a special two-night showing of the bottle by the Columbia Valley Arts Council on Saturday, October 20 and Sunday, October 21. It is believed the legendary vessel contains a magical genie that can only be drawn out by dancing on those specific dates, and part of the reason the bottle is leaving the Middle East is that it’s such an important artifact it has caused violent battles among those trying to entice the genie out of the magical bottle.
Both the Sultan and international authorities have been paying close attention to the relationship between the Columbia Valley Arts Council and the keepers of the Midnight Genie Bottle, as they believe the event will attract a number of persons of interest, including Opium Omar.
“I will be attending the evening with the sole intention of enticing that glorious genie out of its vessel, and hopefully the authorities can get the information they desire,” he said. “My focus on October 20 and 21 will be on the genie as it would mean the world to my family and kingdom to have three unrestricted wishes.”
The Sultan did ask that if anyone has any information on Opium Omar’s whereabouts, or sees anything suspicious involving large Persian rugs, to call 250-342-4423. He also extended an open invitation to residents and visitors to come and attend the special two-night engagement with the Midnight Genie Bottle.
“The people in this valley have shown me nothing but kindness, so I would like to return that kindness and share my table with them on this incredibly important occasion,” he said.