On a personal note: Not everything happens to me

Columbia Valley RCMP Staff Sgt. Marko Shehovac shares his stories of policing and life.

On June 17, Constable Tim Harper was contacted in regards to an ongoing water balloon battle involving numerous nine year olds on 13th Street. One youth going down in defeat tactfully retreated to his residence, as Cst. Harper explained in great detail, at which time grandma attempted to intervene as a peace maker.  Grandparents often are called upon to stand in for United Nations in attempts to gain control of the streets. Unfortunately, in the heat of battle, such intervention is ignored and United Nations often fall under fire which was the case here. A call was made to Cst. Harper with a request to create a no-fly zone and nuke the remaining warriors. Cst. Harper said it was more prudent of him to conduct a pre-conflict reconnaissance over the phone to avoid going into battle ill prepared. It was clear to him that if the remaining warriors would shoot upon a grandma, what chance would he have entering the battlefield without proper preparation or water cannons of his own. Over the phone, Cst. Harper learned the other combatants had retreated possibly to their own residences. No doubt, the remaining nine year olds feared a retaliative strike by higher and stronger  authority. Cst. Harper requested that the Commander (mother) of this one soldier be placed on the phone. Mom agreed that the other Commanders (parents) were best to conduct a peace summit to resolve issues and work on a peace plan to set clearer rules of engagement. Cst. Harper at the end of the day stayed safe and dry. I gave him an “attaboy” for his handling of the situation. Now had I been called, I would have geared up in my rainsuit, ballooned up and taken side with the outnumbered soldier and battled on. And if you think I’m kidding, ask the kids on my street in Golden.